I had an interesting conversation at a Pamper Party yesterday. It was a thirteenth Birthday party and the girls were discussing Facebook. Some were twelve, but were on Facebook, and some were thirteen, but were not allowed on Facebook yet. The Birthday girl was excited because she was now allowed a Facebook account as her parents had said once she became thirteen she could join. I did find it amusing when her Mum said 'Ah yes, but you are thirteen for another 364 days'. She wasn't keen on her daughter entering the world of politics that is Facebook.
I was asked 'as a teacher' what I think about girls joining Facebook. Now here's the dilemma. I suddenly have eight girls looking at me expectantly, willing me to say I think it's a brilliant idea to join Facebook, as young as possible. I said what I think.
I am fortunate enough to have some really good friends, who are Mums of teenage girls. I observe from a distance, making mental notes of how to deal with the challenges having a teenage daughter obviously brings. Now one has a daughter who turned thirteen earlier in the year, and she joined Facebook the day she turned thirteen. Her Mum sent her a Friend Request within minutes. The daughter accepted. This was the deal. You join Facebook at thirteen (because that's when Facebook says you can) BUT you accept your Mum as a friend. This way, Mum can not only keep an eye on what you say, but also what your 'friends' do, and step in if necessary (clearly not on Facebook....How embarrassing would it be for your Mum to argue with 'she that is considered VERY cool'...) I have a lot of repect for this particular parent, and know this would have been a very thought through decision.
So I told the girls at the Pamper Party that in my opinion thirteen was ok to join Facebook, as long as you allow your Mum to be your friend. I then went on to casually say that I felt you should be very careful who you accepted as a friend- only people you know REALLY well. I think all parties were satisfied with my response....well, except maybe a couple of the girls, who clearly thought that having your Mum as a friend on Facebook was a serious social faux pas.
On a side note, I am proud to be considered 'cool' enough to be friends with a couple of Facebook 'newbies', one of which is the earlier mentioned 'joined Facebook the moment she turned thirteen girl'. She has just got a boyfriend, and I am following with interest this development. As I said, much respected friend is a Facebook 'friend' of hers also, so can see the status updates. It led to a conversation about the complexities of Facebook. See, when I started dating, the only thing I had to worry about was whether he would phone...on a landline. Now there's home phones, mobile phones, Facebook, Twitter...I'm sure I would have had a mental breakdown. There's much excitement when the relationship status changes to 'in a relationship'...but what happens when/if the relationship hits trouble? Do you change the relationship status, or wait until they do? But then you'd wish you got in first...
Thankfully I am five years away from DD1 joining Facebook (because she will be thirteen...) but when she does, much to her annoyance, she will receive a prompt friend request from her old Mum. Just hope she doesn't select the ignore button...